What It Feels Like To Be Written Off….Hypochondria

So maybe it’s true that I’ a hypochondriac, but I’m sure you don’t know what that really means. I don’t pretend that I’m sick, and I don’t make up lies to get attention. Oh no. Instead, I feel these very real symptoms and my anxiety-riddled mind turns something little (or moderate) into something horribly frightening, dangerous…deadly. Today I went to the doctor because I woke up and my whole body hurt. Everything. Do you know what the doctor said?

“You have visited this office more times in the last year then my elderly patients do in five years.”

Come again, doc? He followed this up with an explanation of all the tests I’ve had run…and boy did it take a while. He explained all of those tests to me, what they ruled out, and then he went over the description of what I was feeling during each of my 7 doctor’s visit…just this year. Then he says:

“What do YOU think you have?”

Well, ghee doc, if I knew what I had I wouldn’t be in the office today, now would I? You see, for the past ten months I have been in constant pain. Oh, the pain ranges from annoying to debilitating, and here of late, I’ve had more good days then bad, but the tests have shown nothing. I’m frustrated because I’m feeling this pain all of the time, but I don’t have a reason for it. The doctor’s are frustrated because I keep going into the office with virtually the same complaints, and they can’t do anything about it. Everyone is frustrated.

At the end of the doctor’s appointment today, the doctor told me this:

“Look, you keep coming in here with the same complaints, and we’ve run every test we can. As far as these tests say, you look like you are in perfect health…there is nothing wrong with you, and I’m sorry, but there’s nothing more we can do for you.”

So, there you have it, after a ten month battle of trying to figure out what’s wrong with me, I’ve been written off. I was basically told that they didn’t want to see me again. In my defense, I would like to add that not all seven times I’ve seen the doctor this last year were because of this same pain-related issue. Once I had a sinus infection, and another time I had a UTI, and a third time I had a yeast infection from the antibiotics given to me for the UTI. So, is four times really all that much? Maybe when we consider that I’ve also seen rheumotologist, cardiologist, gastroenterologist, and a therapist.

But what can I do? I feel very real pain, but have no solid answer for it! At this point in time I feel hopeless. I swear that it’s something awful that they’re missing, despite the fact that there isn’t much they could have missed. Do you know what tests I’ve had done? Let’s start with blood work. I’ve had multiple CBC and Metabolic Panels, a full rheumatological panel, full hormone panel, at least 6 blood tests done on my thyroid, and a few stand-alone lets-test-this things done. I’ve also had at least 4 or 5 EKG’s done, a holter monitor test, endoscopy, colonoscopy; X-rays of the neck/chest/pelvic region; CT Scan of the neck/ribs/brain/pelvic area; ultrasounds of my uterus/ovaries/appendix; and more physical exams then I care to think about. This should make me feel good, right? Wrong! I still feel the 24/7 pain. But I have now officially been written off by my family doctor…

So what do I do now? I’m not faking, I’m not lying, and I’m certainly not trying to get attention. Well, I have an allergist appointment set up for July 23rd. Since my stomach will randomly spasm and I have IBS, they think that maybe I have some undetected food allergies. I also have a gyno appointment set up. I’ve been seeing a therapist for just about two months. If everything comes up normal? I’m lost.

It’s a terrible, terrible feeling to be written off when you are so sure that you are not delusional. How would you handle it? I’m just going to keep on going…what more can I do?


10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. meANXIETYme
    Jun 27, 2013 @ 21:36:44

    The new guidelines out there are saying that you don’t have to have all the tender points that you used to. It seems crazy (and kind of sad!) that they make you wait six months to start some kind of treatment. And for some people, having the treatment WORK is actually what diagnoses them. The medical community, ain’t it great?


  2. meANXIETYme
    Jun 27, 2013 @ 20:54:55

    I would also say fibromyalgia. I went through a lot of what you did and went to a neurologist who specialized in fibro…he ended up saying NO to that but saying yes to something called Myofascial Pain Syndrome (now called Chronic Myofascial Pain) which is different from fibro. It has to do with trigger points that when triggered will give you referred pain in another part of your body. So tracking down the actual area that is causing the pain is quite difficult. Seeing a physical therapist (or massage therapist) who specializes in myfascial pain (or trigger points) or myofascial release would be very beneficial. If you want to talk more about it, please contact me. I’ve had CMP for over thirteen years and would be happy to help you talk through if it might be what you are dealing with. Doctors have NO CLUE about it whatsoever. They are terrible with Fibromyalgia and even worse understanding (or believing) in CMP.


    • Dixie's Ranter
      Jun 27, 2013 @ 21:05:55

      Thanks so much for your comment! I’d love to contact you to talk more about this. I checked on your blog site and couldn’t find a way to contact you. Would you like to shoot me an email? It’s bobbyandchelsea_hammond(at)yahoo(dot)com. Thanks so much!!!


  3. adtrosper
    Jun 27, 2013 @ 20:46:25

    And yes, I do know. My husband suffered from severe back pain, but doctors kept telling him he was fine. They would take x-rays of his back and declare nothing wrong and then accuse him of just wanting drugs, even though he kept telling them he didn’t want a bunch of drugs, he wanted to know what was wrong in his back.

    We finally found a doctor who would listen. He sent my husband for an MRI of his back and you know what that revealed? Several herniated disks up and down his back. With continued testing they also found a crack in one of the vertebrates in his cervical spine and degenerative arthritis in his spine.

    Sometimes it takes time to find a doctor who will listen.


    • Dixie's Ranter
      Jun 27, 2013 @ 20:55:10

      Oh ghee. I’m glad he finally figured out what was wrong! I know that I was accused on wanting pain pills by the doctor I had before this because one time when I thought I had sprained my rib (which is the way that all of this pain began, along with this dull throbbing pain in my left arm) she gave me a small prescription for Perks, which I didn’t even fill. Instead, I took IB Profeun, slept on a heating pad, and took hot showers whenever possible…I went back a month later telling her I was still in pain and that was what she told me….I just wanted pills. I told her to check and see if I had the prescription filled! ugh.


  4. adtrosper
    Jun 27, 2013 @ 20:39:11

    What about fibromyalgia? A lot of people have a hard time finding a doctor that truly understands it and can diagnose it.


    • Dixie's Ranter
      Jun 27, 2013 @ 21:00:27

      My rheumatologist did tell me that there was a possibility I was developing fibromylagia, but that he could not diagnose me with it yet, because at the time, I had been in pain for less than six months, I only had 2 pressure points, and he had to rule everything else out. My tests came out perfect, and he told me to come back in August. I honestly think that’s whats wrong with me, because I have 3 of the overlapping conditions (PMDD, TMJ, & IBS), and the symptoms are ALMOST exactly how I feel today…plus, I have no internal organ involvement. My kidneys, heart, lungs, and liver are in awesome condition. I’ve also (since I visited the rheumotologist) developed three more pressure points. Even that frustrated me though because he was basically saying I had to live in hell for at least six months before he could do anything for me, and there are new treatments like herbal supplements and types of massages, stretches, etc. that are proven to work for fibro. Thanks for the information Audra 🙂 I’m hoping that’s all this is, and that someone finally figures it out. We’ll see in August, I suppose…


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