It’s Better To Be P!ssed Off Than P!ssed On

“It’s better to be pissed off than pissed on,” and trust me, I’m not just saying this. I know for a fact. Now, you may be thinking that this is one of those situations like when someone says, “This tastes like crap.” You ask them how they know, have they ever really tasted crap? Then they get huffy and say no. So now you’re thinking about asking me, “Well, have you ever been pissed on?” and yes, yes I have. Let me delve further into this interesting situation for you.

The story starts with my three year old daughter, Vikki Beth- all of  my  best blogs do. I like to affectionately refer to her as my tomboy diva. She loves to get dirty, fix things, go fishing, and BEGS us to go hunting….yes, really. But she also enjoys dressing up, doing her make up and nails, and all of that good stuff. So, for Christmas this year we got her a tiny six pack of tiny little nail polishes in just the right size for her. My husband, being the awesome daddy that he is, painted her nails for her just the other night. My husband, being the man that he is, left them down on the coffee table while he went off to get a soda. Two seconds later, my daughter comes into the kitchen and happily proclaims “I did my toes!” Bobby and I stop dead in what we’re doing (him rummaging in the fridge for food and me doing the dishes) and we look over at her. Vikki Beth is grinning from ear to ear, and I can see nothing wrong…yet. I slowly look down at her feet, and they are covered in purple nail polish. I shake my head grumpily, and take her into the bathroom. Now, mind you, Vikki Beth is only wearing her ‘big girl panties.’ That’s about all I can get her to keep on while she’s at home. She is definitely one of those toddlers who love to be clothes-less.

To keep this short, I’ll simply tell you that I grabbed a kitchen scrubbing and began to scrub at the top of her foot. She’s ticklish, however, so she was laughing fairly hard. In order to keep her still, I crouched down and hooked my arm around her leg. That was where I made my mistake… my daughter laughed harder, and harder….and harder. Then I feel something warm and wet go all over my arm. Yes, my daughter laughed until she peed herself. Not thinking with my mommy brain, I jumped up and exclaimed “Boo! You peed on me!” Vikki Beth, giggling even more so now that she just peed all over her momma,says, “I pee when I laugh.” I roll my eyes, and shake my head, but I can’t help but laugh along with her.

The moral of this story folks is that it is, indeed, better to be pissed off than pissed on…however, being pissed on makes a much better story.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Childhood Friendships | Pen Possessed

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